This week I was subject to some drama that was totally unnecessary and only because that person wanted to blow off some steam and they lashed out. They wanted to get back at someone else without thinking that what they were doing was going to cripple everyone including themselves. Every part of me wanted to scream right back and tell them, "Whoa, there Sparky. What you are doing effects other people as well as yourself. How selfish and self centered are you really? You've got your own selfish crap going on and you really expect people to jump when you say and I'm not the one." But, I didn't. I was proud of myself that I kept my mouth shut tight. It was haaaaaarrrrrrd but I did it because I knew they just wanted to create more drama than there needed to be. So, I sat silent and waited until they were done and gone and went to work on plan B. After I sat down and thought about it we would have and easier time of it than the person. So we were quite relived with their decision. It would have been rough for a minute but we were optimistic and said, "Screw it. That person had somethings in the works that they needed us for and guess what? They need to re-do it with someone else since the grass is sooooo green on the other side." It was one less thing that we would be obligated to do.
This person kept this crap up for days. The day of the tirade, they had the nerve not to speak to anyone like we were all to blame. Then, to add insult to injury, they got over it the next day and began talking to everyone and got offended when no one really wanted to deal with them. It was like some crazy mind meld between us all that called their bluff and said, "F*ck it! Do it!" Although, we are depending on this person, we are just tired of the constant drama that they brought into our lives and are ready to move on some other way. Last night that person came to me singing a completely different tune. No apology or anything and they just started talking. I put up a big red stop sign and said,"Hold up! I really want nothing to do with you. You go on your tirade and treat everyone like we are leeches and then you want to turn around and chat it up with me. That's not cool and I'm not going to stand for it. Leave the group or stay. If you stay, all the crap has to stop. We are done." I listed off the infractions that we had been biting our tongues on and I could see that person getting angry and they had the nerve to defend the bad behavior. I said, "You know what we are done. There is no excuse or defense of the crap that you have brought." They got quiet and said OK. Still no apology and at this point that's as good as it's going to get. I warned them that they need to do some work to welcomed back and don't expect it to be immediate. They realized that they bit the hand that fed them and they got a swat for it.
Sometimes the people that we love want to lash out. They like the drama of it all and just want to get a rise out of you. They want to let off some steam at your expense. You know who they are. Don't give them the satisfaction. The best thing you can do is to wait until they are done and say nothing. Wait and see if they will follow through with their threat. As long as the victim is only them, back off and say, "F*ck it! Do it!" Call their bluff. The flip side of it is you need to also be willing to face the consequence, if any, to yourself as in my situation. Have a plan B if that person does follow through.
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